Blog Archives

Spooky Halloween Humor: 15 Paranormal Trick-or-Treat Jokes

10/30/2018

In my region of the US, a highlight of Halloween is Beggars' Night, two hours of young Trick-or-Treaters in costumes... and of course the jokes they tell!
I've gathered some of the paranormal humor recited at my front door.

1. How do vampire girls flirt? They bat their eyes.

2. What dessert do ghosts love? I scream.

3. What fruit do vampires prefer? Neck-tarines

4. What makes graveyards so noisy? All the coffin.

5. Why are ghosts so bad at lying? You can see right through them.

6. What is a witch's favorite subject at school? Spelling.

7. Why did police give the ghost a ticket? No haunting license.

8. What do you call a grumpy ghoul janitor? The grim sweeper.

9. What kind of a street do vampires live on? A dead end.

10. What is a werewolf's favorite Cub Scout event? The pack meetings.

11. How can you learn more about Dracula? Join his fang club.

12. Who is the vampire that lives in the kitchen? Count Spatula.

13. Why do witches wear name tags? So they know which witch is which.

14. What do witches use on their hair? Scare spray.

15. Where do vampires keep their money? In a blood bank.

Have a terrific Halloween!

BOO!

There Be Dragons! An Interview with Author Kath Boyd Marsh

10/24/2018

Welcome, Booklovers!
It's time for another Coffee Chat!

This week’s guest is children’s author Kath Boyd Marsh (aka my fabulous critique partner!), featuring her upcoming release, Dragon Bonded.

Before we get started, what would you like to drink, Kath?

KBM: Coffee black is just fine. Or could we go to McDonald’s for a plain Iced Coffee? I’m a sucker for those. Wait, they have that frozen coffee, that’s practically ice cream! Ooh. Ooh. Can we go get one of those?

Ally: We don’t have to go anywhere! My magic pot can conjure anything. One frozen coffee McDonald’s-style coming right up. While I get those drinks, please tell readers something about yourself.

Bio:

I’m a Marine Brat who has lived in 8 states, Panama, and one haunted house. I fell in love with writing as soon as I learned to read and write. My first book was stapled together by my grandfather, but is currently out of publication. I majored in English Education at Florida State University, where I took every literature course I could get into. But avoided writing courses.

After taking my daughter to look at potential colleges, I wrote about ten pages on how she had driven me completely crazy. I pared it down to 400 words and found the humor. I sold it to Child Times, a local Family newspaper- my first publication.

My husband’s career finally took us to live in the Bluegrass of Kentucky. A bit spooky that. My parents were big on genealogy and uncovered that an ancestor of mine had a land grant in Kentucky from General George Washington after the Revolutionary War. But my ancestors had itchy feet and went West. I’m a fourth generation native born Californian because of that. But I came back. (Now, in a very recent development, I’ll soon be off to Pennsylvania!)

Something unique/unusual that isn't in your regular bio. As a Marine Brat, I attended a new school my senior year of high school. I applied for the Literary club and was turned down. (Not that I have thought about writing the High School literary club and going - NAH NAH NAH!)

Contact the Author
Website: kathboydmarshauthor.com
Email: kathbmarsh@gmail.com
Blog: kath-lettersfromearth.blogspot.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/kmarshfen

INTERVIEW:

Ally: I know you write short stories and novels for children, but what kind of book is Dragon Bonded?

KBM: It’s a fantasy written for 9-12 year olds. Maybe a little older if you like adventure and humor. (No love scenes of any level of anything. Characters are too busy saving Cl’rnce.) This is a sequel story to The Lazy Dragon and the Bumblespells Wizard.

Ally: Where do you get your story ideas?

KBM: Scary question. Sometimes a word or a phrase will catch my attention and spark a whole ‘What if?’ Sometimes the Voices tell me. :)

Ally: What characteristic or flaw makes a “good” villain?

KBM: I think the perfect villain is so self-absorbed that they really cannot see anyone else’s point of view or care about anyone else.

Ally: Even other authors love to hear how a writer got their first book published. What brought you success?

KBM: Interesting. I was about to give up on ever getting published. I threw caution to the wind and submitted a different ms. to each category of a small publisher’s contest. I was gobsmacked to make semi-finals in each category, then finals for the Middle Grade category. I did not win the publishing contract, BUT I did win the attention of the publisher. We started working on revising my contest ms. It was going well, and one day I felt so good about how much I was learning that I sent her a new ms--my first and most beloved character and ms. She loved the main character. We switched revisions to the new ms, and it was published two years later! My debut novel! The Lazy Dragon and the Bumblespells Wizard.

Ally: Do you use a professional editor? If not, what do you do to ensure a quality book?

KBM: My editor at CBAY Books is more than professional. She’s amazing! She’s written a book to help other writers. It comes with workbook pages that help me organize. Story Slices by Madeline Smoot.

Ally: Do your characters come to you fully formed with names and backgrounds?

KBM: No. They come with names that may change, and sparse details on their backgrounds. Since I write ‘by the seat of my pants’ with the story revealing itself as I write, I learn about their backgrounds as the words spill out. Sometimes I’m pretty surprised, but it all comes together and makes sense.

Ally: What is your next writing project? Anticipated release date?

KBM: A novel I’m working is based on the characters in my short story Pendragon Crystal that appeared in the anthology Dragons and Witches: Fairy Tale Villains Reimagined. I have my fingers crossed that when I submit it to my publisher she’ll be interested! Right now, I’m toying with the title Broken Crystal.

Ally: And now for a few quick answer questions:

a. favorite book: Several: Podkayne of Mars by Robert Heinlein , Seventeen by Booth Tarkington, Clowns of God by Morris West.
b. an author (living or dead) you'd love to take to lunch: Ally Shields. But if she’s booked, Samuel Clemens. (Ally note: You're on, girlfriend!)
c. favorite accessory (jewelry, scarves, shoes, etc.) Hats, but I look awful in them, so mainly I just stare at them or tote them along without putting them on. Currently I am particularly taken with a ball cap that has a grape holding a glass of wine and the message “Just hand over the wine and nobody gets hurt.”
d. Your pets - type and names: Are we talking about the domestic ones not the deer, turkey, possums, squirrels, raccoons, chipmunks and other random critters that wait for breakfast each morning? The domestic pets: Rufus,-Fox Hound who rescued us 5 years ago. Hank- mixed breed 70# lap dog who rescued us last summer. Nikki-black cat who rescued us 12 years ago. Ratchett and Tucker-black cats who rescued us with their mother Zoe two years ago.
e. If you couldn't write anymore, what would you want to do? Take photographs. I’m not good, but I am enthusiastic.

Ally: Always a pleasure chatting with you, Kath. Before you get away, let’s take a look at your new MG fantasy releasing on November 1st: Dragon Bonded.

Dragon Bonded
Genre: MG fantasy (pages 9-12)

Blurb:

In this quirky adventure through various fantasy realms, dragon Hazel and her (former) best friend Gaelyn struggle to foil a villainous unicorn.

Ever since her brother Cl'rnce and his wizard partner were crowned the Dr'gon Primus, Hazel has had her paws full dealing with all the work. Cl'rnce might wear the crown, but Hazel is the one cleaning up the messes her prankster brother leaves behind. To manage everything, Hazel relies on her own Wizard Partner, the unflappable Gaelyn.

When Cl’rnce is poisoned, it’s Gaelyn that Hazel turns to for help. However, Gaelyn has been keeping secrets of her own—secrets she never intended to share, not even with a friend like Hazel. Gaelyn struggles to hide her true self, but is unable to lie when her secret is revealed.

Now caught between their former friendship and their new distrust for one another, the two must work together if they are going to save Cl’rnce’s life from a foe neither of them had expected.

Buy Links (already active):

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2MMNhhF
Barens and Noble: http://bit.ly/2lorh03

Forensics, or "Whodunnit?" by Mystery Author Brad Harper

10/17/2018

Forensics, or "Whodunnit?"
A Historical Perspective

by Brad Harper

Aristotle said there are only three arguments:

Blame, Values, and Choice.

Think of Professor Henry Hill in the musical, The Music Man, in his famous song, "We got trouble right here, right here in River City!" (The current situation is not acceptable to our values.)

"That starts with T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool!" (The new pool hall is to blame for the current situation.)

He goes on to suggest a community band would lead the youth back onto the path of righteousness, which is an argument of choice.

Arguments which center on assigning blame are called Forensics.

The oldest use of Forensic science I've found was three thousand years ago, and the detective in our story was a magistrate in a small village in China who happened upon the body of a woman hacked to death, near a field where some men were working. When he questioned them, they all denied any knowledge regarding her death, so he had them line up and lay their sickles on a table in front of them, instructing each man to stand beside his tool.

Imagine the scene now. It must have been a warm day for them to be out harvesting, and the sweat on their brow could have been from exertion... or the fear of being found out. After a few minutes a familiar buzzing was heard, and slowly more and more flies appeared and settled on one blade, and one blade only. The dried blood, invisible to the naked eye, drew the flies nonetheless, who served as witnesses for the prosecution.

Despite this promising start, forensic science had no significant new developments until around the middle of the nineteenth century when Rudolf Virchow, a German pathologist in Würzburg, developed the discipline of pathology, and his students coined the term "autopsy," which means "to see for yourself," and the use of medical science to assist law enforcement began.

Still, when Arthur Conan Doyle penned his first Holmes Story, A Study in Scarlet in 1887, police investigations relied primarily on eye witness accounts and interrogations. The techniques Doyle uses in his stories were for all practicality science fiction when they were written, and it took a French admirer of Doyle's detective to make Holmes' methods a practical reality.

Edmond Locard was both a physician and a lawyer, and in 1910 he persuaded the chief of police in Lyon, France, to give him two small attic rooms and two assistants to create the world's first crime lab. He was given two years to prove the concept, and as these two years drew near to ending without a significant breakthrough he became concerned his lab would be closed.

Then a young woman was found strangled in her apartment, and her lover was suspected as the killer, but four men swore he was playing cards with them in his apartment at the time the woman was probably murdered. Locard suspected the man right away, and scrapped the man's fingernails and retained the scrapings.

Cosmetics were common, but there were no large companies at the time, so women purchased them from the local pharmacy, each one having its own formula. Locard went to the pharmacy the murder victim used, and when this pharmacy's cosmetics was compared under a microscope with the scrapings from the suspect's fingernails, they matched perfectly. Confronted with this evidence, the man confessed he was the murderer, and had moved the clock back one hour in the room he'd played cards with his friends.

The conviction of the killer saved Locard's lab, and soon crime labs sprang up in police departments around the world, turning Doyle's science fiction, into fact.

Returning to the three types of arguments: Values are always argued in the present tense, things are or are not acceptable. Forensic arguments of course are waged in the past tense, someone did, or did not. Choice pertains to the future, we should or should not take a particular course of action. So, if you hear a couple arguing, and notice they are not both using the same verb tense, one of their problems is they're not having the same argument!

About the Author:

During my 37 years of active duty as an Army pathologist, I performed over 200 autopsies, and my clinical years are interwoven with four stints as the commanding officer of various medical units. I was an Infantry officer before medical school, and worked in the Pentagon. Yet, I also happily play Santa each Christmas (with my loving wife as Mrs. Claus). It is this juxtaposition of exploring the body, mind, and humanity that allows me to examine the mysteries of the past. Won't you come with me to the Victorian era, and the dark alleyways of London's Whitechapel in the east end?

Contact Links:

Website: https://bharperauthor.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/bharperauthor
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bharperauthor/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bharperauthor/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/17721603.Bradley_Harper

A Knife in the Fog
Genre: historical mystery

Physician Arthur Conan Doyle takes a break from his practice to assist London police in tracking down Jack the Ripper in this debut novel and series starter.

September 1888. A twenty-nine-year-old Arthur Conan Doyle practices medicine by day and writes at night. His first Sherlock Holmes story, A Study in Scarlet, although gaining critical and popular success, has only netted him twenty-five pounds. Embittered by the experience, he vows never to write another "crime story." Then a messenger arrives with a mysterious summons from former Prime Minister William Gladstone, asking him to come to London immediately.

Once there, he is offered one month's employment to assist the Metropolitan Police as a "consultant" in their hunt for the serial killer soon to be known as Jack the Ripper. Doyle agrees on the stipulation his old professor of surgery, Professor Joseph Bell--Doyle's inspiration for Sherlock Holmes--agrees to work with him. Bell agrees, and soon the two are joined by Miss Margaret Harkness, an author residing in the East End who knows how to use a Derringer and serves as their guide and companion.

Pursuing leads through the dank alleys and courtyards of Whitechapel, they come upon the body of a savagely murdered fifth victim. Soon it becomes clear that the hunters have become the hunted when a knife-wielding figure approaches.

Buy Links:

Fountain Bookstore (signed copies available)
Libro.fm (Audiobook)
Indiebound
Amazon
AUTHOR, AUTHOR!
Barnes & Noble
Books-A-Million
Kobo
McNally Robinson (Canada)
Indigo (Canada)

Kirkus Review of A KNIFE IN THE FOG by Bradley Harper | Kirkus Reviews

Thanks for stopping by the blog today! See you next week...

Daisy's Back! An Interview with Author Carola Dunn

10/10/2018

Welcome, Booklovers!

It’s been a rainy fall in the Midwest, a great time for reading and book talk! This week’s guest on the Coffee Chat is Carola Dunn, an author of dozens of books, including the long-running Daisy Dalrymple cozy mystery series and numerous regency romances.
I’m delighted you stopped to chat, Carola. What may I offer you to drink?

Carola: I'm a dedicated tea drinker. I start the day with a mug of plain black, usually Typhoo, but I love Darjeeling, Assam, and Ceylon. In the afternoon I move on to herbal and fruit teas. Bedtime is always lemon ginger.

Ally: Then tea it is. While I prepare our drinks, please introduce yourself to readers.

Bio:

I was born and grew up in England, and most of my 63 books are set in England, though I've lived in the US for most of my life. Presently I live in Oregon with my dog, Trillian, and visit my grandchildren in Southern California as often as possible.

Something that isn’t in your regular bio: “I enjoy growing fruit—apples, cherries, plums, raspberries, rhubarb, currants, blackberries, grapes, and strawberries (though I've never had much success with those)--and veggies (tomatoes, green/runner beans, peas, lettuce, cucumbers, French sorrel, parsley, mint).”

Contact the Author:

Www.CarolaDunn.weebly.com
https://www.facebook.com/CarolaDunnMysteryAuthor
https://www.facebook.com/Carola.Dunn.Author/
https://www.facebook.com/DaisyDalrympleMysteries/
https://www.facebook.com/CornishMysteries/
https://www.facebook.com/RegenciesByCarolaDunn/

INTERVIEW:

Ally: For readers who haven't yet found your books, what can they expect when they open a Carola Dunn novel?

Carola: I've written 27 mysteries (23 in the Daisy Dalrymple series, 4 Cornish mysteries) and 32 Regencies plus 4 collections of novellas. My mysteries have minimal explicit violence and the romances have no explicit sex.

Ally: What's the best writing/marketing advice you’ve been given?

Carola: The great English author Somerset Maugham's words of wisdom: “There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.” In other words, take any and all rules with a pinch of salt.

Ally: Do the people in your real life show up in your writing?

Carola: Absolutely not, but of course the characteristics of people you know illuminate your understanding of people in general, so help you to create characters. The nearest I've come to using a real person was in my “dead dentist” book, Die Laughing. I'd had a lot of unpleasant dental work done, and I quite simply wanted to kill a dentist. The character had nothing in common with any dentist I've ever had treat me, however.

Ally: Do you enjoy research? Does your genre require it?

Carola: My books are all historical, from the Regency (early 19th century) to the 1920s and the 1960s. They require lots of research into the various periods, besides specific subjects related to the stories. For example, when I wrote The Bloody Tower, I read a lot about the history of the Tower of London and how the garrison was organized, what the Governor's responsibilities are and the building he lives in, etc. I contacted the librarian of the Royal Armories Library which was then in the Tower, and she provided all the information I could possibly want, a large scale plan, and even the Governor's Day Book for the week Daisy (my protagonist) was there. In general, for the mysteries I researched the state of forensics at the time.

I love research, so it's all too easy to spend far too much time on it. Much, probably most, will not appear overtly in the books, but the knowledge is in the background. When a writer has done only superficial research and relies on a scattering of details, it's usually pretty obvious.

Ally: What’s the most meaningful thing a fan could say about your book?

Carola: I love it when fans tell me my books distract them from their troubles when they're going through an illness or a difficult time.

Ally: Let’s finish the interview with a few short answer questions.

a. book you're currently reading: News from Tartary by Peter Fleming
b. high heels or sneakers: sneakers
c. something unique in your handbag: Scottish horn-handled fruit knife that my mother gave me 55 years ago.
d. Last book that made you laugh: 'The Unexpected Inheritance of Inspector Chopra by Vaseem Khan
e. Your pets: Dog—mutt--Trillian (named for a character in the Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy)

Ally: You’ve been a charming guest. Before you go, let’s take a look at your featured book, The Corpse at the Crystal Palace.

The Corpse at the Crystal Palace
Daisy Dalrymple series
Genre: cozy mystery
Released: July 2018

Publisher's blurb:

A casual outing to London's Crystal Palace takes a mysterious and murderous turn . . .

April 1928: Daisy Dalrymple Fletcher is being visited in London by her young cousins who are desperate to see the Crystal Palace. On discovering that her children's nanny, Gilpin, has also never seen the palace, Daisy decides to make a day of it with the family. But this ordinary outing starts going wrong when Nanny Gilpin fails to return from the ladies' room. When Daisy goes looking for her, she doesn't find her nanny but instead the dead body of another woman dressed in a nanny's uniform.

Meanwhile, the rest of Daisy's party spot Gilpin chasing after yet another nanny. Intrigued, they trail the two into the park and stumble across Gilpin lying unconscious. When she comes to, she has no recollection of what happened.

Daisy's husband, Detective Chief Inspector Alec Fletcher of Scotland Yard, soon finds himself embroiled in the murder investigation. Worried about her children's own injured nanny, Daisy is determined to help. But first she has to discover the identity of the third nanny, the presumed murderer, and to do so, Daisy must uncover why Gilpin followed them in the first place . . .

Buy Links:

https://www.amazon.com/Corpse-Crystal-Palace-Dalrymple-Mysteries/dp/1250047056/
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Corpse-Crystal-Palace-Daisy-Dalrymple/dp/1472125444/

Praise for the Daisy Dalrymple mysteries

'Cunning . . . appropriate historical detail and witty dialogue are the finishing touches on this engaging 1920s period piece' Publishers Weekly

'For fans of Dorothy L. Sayers' novels' Library Journal

'As always, Dunn evokes the life and times of 1920s England while providing a plot that is a cut above the average British cosy' Booklist

When Mystery Meets Paranormal: Guest Blog by Author Paty Jager

10/3/2018

A surprising element in a mystery... paranormal

By Paty Jager

One might think a mystery would have enough red herrings and twists and turns for a reader to try to figure out who is the real criminal.

I like to add a little more of a twist to my Shandra Higheagle stories. Not only do I set up a suspect chart and give them motives and opportunities to have done the deed whether it is stealing, killing, stalking, whatever the crime, I also have to come up with dreams for my main character, Native American potter, Shandra Higheagle.

And these dreams can’t just show her who did the crime. No, her deceased grandmother comes to her at first in night time dreams, showing her scenes or scenarios that might be what has transpired or what is going to happen. But there is never a clear picture of who or what is going on. The dreams are puzzles within themselves that if the reader figures them out, can also figure out who they are looking for. Even if at the end I see where I can do a twist and make the reader go, “No! I didn’t see that coming!” The dreams will have shown that twist.

The fun part about the dreams and adding this little paranormal nod to my books, is the fact it allows me to show not only my character’s growing relationship with her Native American roots, but it also shows that dreams can be part of your subconscious and can help you find the truth behind things.

When I came up with the idea of Shandra Higheagle being a potter, it was so I could incorporate something my artist brother had told me about bronze statues. But as I started fleshing her out and discovering more about her background, I wanted her to take a different route to learning about her heritage. And I love dream catchers! 😉 I put all of this in a shaker of sorts- my brain- and I came up with the recently deceased grandmother that Shandra had only seen a few times in her life who starts coming to her in dreams.

I believe adding this bit of paranormal not only fits with her heritage, but it works for her spiritual and intellectual thoughts. And it gives the reader one more way, if they are willing to try, to discover “who did it” by the end of the book.
I don’t use the paranormal part as a means to pull a rabbit out of hat or a killer out of nowhere. I use it to move the story forward with clues and Shandra not only trying to discover the dreams meaning but how it works with the clues they already have.

Do you like paranormal mysteries? What are some of your favorite series/books or paranormal element?

About the Author:

Paty Jager is an award-winning author of 34 novels, 8 novellas, and numerous anthologies of murder mystery and western romance. All her work has Western or Native American elements in them along with hints of humor and engaging characters. Her Shandra Higheagle mystery series has been a runner-up in the RONE Award Mystery category, and a finalist in the Daphne du Maurier. This is what Mysteries Etc says about her Shandra Higheagle mystery series: “Mystery, romance, small town, and Native American heritage combine to make a compelling read.”

blog / website / Facebook / Paty's Posse / Goodreads / Twitter / Pinterest / Bookbub

Her next release...coming October 10!

Dangerous Dance
Shandra Higheagle Mystery Series #11
Genre: Mystery

Jealousy… Drugs… Murder…

At the reservation to make final arrangements for her upcoming wedding, potter Shandra Higheagle gets caught up in the murder of a young woman about to turn her life around.

Having no jurisdiction on the reservation, Detective Ryan Greer pulls in favors from friends in the FBI to make sure there is no delay in their wedding.

However, the death occurs in a sacred place and could place the nuptials on hold. And following the clues may not only stop the wedding...

But separate Shandra and Ryan for life.

Preorder/Buy (October 10 release):

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Dance-Shandra-Higheagle-Mystery-ebook/dp/B07HPCDTW9

Universal Link to other sellers: https://www.books2read.com/u/mKKB7d

Searching for Riverdale

10/2/2018

If you're a regular visitor to this blog, you already know my Guardian Witch series takes place along the Mississippi River basin. Since everyone hasn't been fortunate enough to grow up in the area, I wanted to show you around.

Today we're visiting Olde Town, the main setting for the series and the tourist district of Riverdale, a small Midwestern city of 287,000 inhabitants, sitting on the cliffs of the upper Mississippi River. The original city core has been restored to its glory days when it was a bustling river port.
Shortly after 7:00 a.m. I backed my Rav 4 out the drive and turned east. After steady driving and only one stop for coffee, I arrived at what should have been the edge of Riverdale well before noon. Only it wasn't there. I found places that looked vaguely familiar but no road signs directing me to Riverdale or Olde Town.

I stopped at a gas station, bought a map, and searched for the town listing. Who changed the map? Where was my picturesque city with the 1800s touristy market area? The horse carriages, the vampire bars? They had vanished overnight. Or had they?

I stood on one of the river cliffs and shut my eyes tight. When I opened them again, this time I looked with my imagination. And there it was. The small city that I had come to know so well and grown to love. I'd like to share it with you.

Let's hop on a horse-drawn carriage and take a drive through Goshen Park. Its woods and isolated paths are so much more inviting during the day. (If you doubt that, check out the photo section of my website and see the park in the fog. Spooky.)

The dramatic swan fountain on the west end of Gosh Park is one of the most popular spots in Olde Town. In good weather the benches surrounding the fountain are filled with tourists or townspeople. Just remember to leave before sundown. At night the park is restricted to the Otherworlders.

What gives the area most of its uniqueness is the Mississippi River and its high cliffs riddled with caves. Here is the river at its tamest at a narrow bend . . .

And the river cliffs viewed from another angle.

No tour of Olde Town would be complete without a peek inside the forbidden Vampire Caverns. Visitors are definitely not welcome beyond the entrances, but there is a hiking trail you can follow around the cliff edge. If you look closely, you may see one of the dark openings into the caves. Do not get off the path. Some of those who have wandered into the caverns have never found their way out.

You will find much more in Olde Town than I can possibly show you in this brief visit: the antique shops, craft and herb shops, high-end boutiques. If you're adventurous, you may want to sample the nightlife along the Vampire Strip or relax in the elegant atmosphere of a supper club. I'm told a really sexy vampire owns one of them.

It takes time to get to know this region and its residents. They're unique and elusive. And the only current road into town is through my Guardian Witch series!

AShields
(previously published 2015)